20 june 2022
in the blink of an eye, more than half of the year has gone by! during the beginning of the year, i thought to myself, “this is going to be a hell of a long year” and now i’m like, “holy fuck it’s almost july.”
it’s not uncommon for the years to fly by. it’s so incredibly easy to pay attention to more pressing things— drake’s new album, copywriting processes, and mechanical keyboard parts have been getting my attention lately.
i haven’t given myself a lot of time to self reflect this year, but i got a tarot card reading from a coworker last week and it’s quite literally changed my perception of my life.
if you’re new here, hi! welcome! if you’re not, welcome back! i’m so glad you’re dedicating a bit of your time to read this newsletter. 💗
i’ve become notorious for publishing these newsletters during key pivotal points in my life- so i will not be apologizing for the inconsistency!!
in this newsletter, i’m going to talk about my tarot reading, hobbies i’ve been indulging in, and why i’m going to commit to a routine (because we all have one whether we like it or not).
let’s dive in 🏊
general consensus — i need to stop doubting myself + start learning
the last time i got a tarot reading was when i was in my senior year of high school from my art history turned sculpture teacher. it was positive— i’ll find out what i really want to do in life, i’ll make new friends along the way— made sense since i was going to college that year.
here’s a quick screenshot of some highlights from last week’s tarot reading (yes, i took notes):
for a long time, i’ve always just “figured it out.”
spent most of my money on food + didn’t have enough for gas? i’ll figure it out.
didn’t know where an english degree could take me? i’ll figure it out.
got catfished to someone i was previously engaged with? …i’ll figure it out.
“figuring it out” got me pretty far. fast forward to today— all of my decisions come with a heavy sense of self doubt, and i’ve been extremely reactive to everything around me with the hopes of being a great asset to a team and a good friend to those in need.
i haven’t given myself time to reflect upon myself: what are my hobbies? how would i describe myself to a stranger? what are my goals and ambitions? what are my redeeming qualities?
i really couldn’t think of any for a long time— but the answer to those questions have always been there! with the fear of the unknown + other’s perceptions, it’s always scary to say these things out loud.
assumed perceptions of others will hinder you from growing
i’ve always been afraid to jump between different hobbies— i don’t want to seem wishy-washy by not committing to a certain kind of hobby. you have time to experiment with what you like and what you don’t like. there are a few things that have always been prevalent in my life: content creation, fashion, and keyboards (new)!
i’ve been creating content on the internet since i’ve started to use the internet- forums, tumblr, instagram- you name it and i’m there. there’s something about creating content for a body of people (strangers or not) that makes me so happy inside.
fashion has always been something that interested me— seeing your own fashion taste evolve over the years is an intriguing experience that no one really talks about. during high school, i was bullied for running a fashion blog (calling myself out here lol), and even until now, almost 10 years later, i’m still hesitant to post my outfits for the world to see.
assuming someone’s perception of you will and can go far— it’ll eat you up inside and hinder you from doing the things you want to do. you’ll be filled with doubt and spend your brainpower on making “calculated” decisions that are riddled with anxiety of not knowing what’ll happen next.
committing to a routine
during this period of reactiveness and self doubt, i’ve lost all sense of a stable, healthy routine. sleeping in late, indulging in tiktoks, and habitual online shopping starts to become boring and a bit overwhelming when i’m not paying attention to other things like… changing the license plate on my car and getting it inspected (detrimental if not done).
routines take a bit of time to build and become habits, but here’s what my ideal routine (that i’m actively working towards) would look like:
move body
skincare (all the steps)
morning pages/journal
work obviously (i really enjoy it though)
indulge in hobby (content creation or building a keyboard)
read something (literally give myself the time to learn anything)
it looks boring but trust me— it’s far from it. giving myself time to reflect on myself + indulge in the things i enjoy should be part of my routine. it’s what i’ve been missing the entire time.
since you’ve made it this far— congrats! 💗
this is obviously a huge block of text of me jabbering away, but i hope that you’ve enjoyed reading it anyway.
would love to know what you think, feel free to send a DM on twitter or instagram.
see you in the next one,
xx jira
I love this so much! Thank you for being so vulnerable in your update and for sharing your tarot pull. I hope that you successfully build your ideal routine and that you flow through it daily with ease. Sending love.